Should Business Have a Conscience?
We are re-posting this blog from Ray Anderson, who was founder and chairman of Interface, Inc. He passed away on August 8, 2011. This post originally appeared on GreenBiz.com.
Why We Need a Training Camp for Consciousness
Some of us have worked hard to change our world; some of us have worked hard to change ourselves. And yet, for many of us, no matter how hard we have worked and no matter how much we’ve progressed, something is still eluding us.
It’s not an illusion. Something is still eluding us. It is the experience of oneness, the experience of thriving in a thriving world, the experience of going beyond our own narrow self-concerns and living from a place of inspiration and connection, from the place of safety that can come only from knowing that others, too, are seeking the highest good of all, including us.
As humans, we long for this experience, but the only way we will get it is if we change and so does our world. We can do it. We can change ourselves. But how? By going beyond the domination of the ego: the instinct that causes us to protect ourselves, promote ourselves and pit ourselves against others; the instinct that causes us to feel shame, isolation, competition and alienation; the instinct that causes those around us to do the same, which only gives us even more reason to protect “ourselves” against “them.”
Can we overcome the domination of the ego? Yes, we can. But first, let me address the issue of disappointment. Whether through direct political action or through charitable work or volunteering, we may have given our all and still experienced disillusionment — not only about the results of all that work, but about the timidity or narrow self-interests that blocked the bold changes required. On a personal level, too, we may have experienced disappointment. We may have committed to sobriety from one addiction, yet find ourselves consumed by another. We may have reaped the rewards of exercise or meditation, yet continue to be anxious or irritable in daily life. We may have understood certain of our dynamics, yet still feel baffled about our underlying sense of dissatisfaction about ourselves, our relationships and our lives. We may have taken many chances on love, yet are left feeling resentful or resigned.
All right. So we have been disappointed. We’ve been disappointed by ourselves, by others, by movements, even by spirituality. The question is: What have we done with these disappointments? Have they discouraged us? Have we kept using the same tactics despite encountering the same results? Or have we utilized the gains that we have already achieved and been motivated to dig deeper, to look for the underlying cause of our alienation from ourselves, alienation from others, alienation from faith?
Those of us dedicated to digging into the underlying cause of our political, social and personal pain have frequently come to the same conclusion: It’s the domination of the ego, the me-based perspective that keeps us in shame, fear and alienation. Now what can we do about that?
A lot. We can retrain ourselves and our egos, and we can open ourselves up to a better way of being, a way that allows us to see our interests as connected, rather than opposing; a way that opens us to the flood of divine energies that help us feel better, more whole, more connected and more relaxed, the divine energies that can also inspire us to solutions that we could not see before.
In order for us to retrain our egos, to leave the “I” universe for the “we” universe, we need three elements: awareness, intention and support. Awareness: catching on to the ego’s games and acknowledging the needless pain it has caused us and others. Intention: dedicating ourselves to self-awareness and giving up all the excuses for engaging in behaviors that destroy our bodies, minds and spirits. Support: human help — a mutually supportive environment that helps us see ourselves and heal ourselves, so that we can truly transform; divine help — a steady stream of divine energies that increase our sense of well-being and open us to higher consciousness.
Overcoming the domination of the ego is not easy. It takes work and dedication. It takes engagement at the level of a boot camp, a boot camp for higher consciousness. Why boot camp? Because boot camps are intensive training experiences that allow us to respond almost instinctively to the challenges that confront us. And the response they encourage is that we automatically function as part of a mutually supportive team, freed from the attachment to our individuality, so that we may achieve our goal and find ourselves in the oneness. For centuries, humans have used boot camps to prepare us for war. Why not now use boot camp to prepare us for transformation?
We need a boot camp for consciousness, a boot camp that helps us instinctively respond to life’s challenges in a way that is self-aware, mutually supportive and inspired. And for such a boot camp, we need programs that challenge and enable us: to see ourselves clearly; to disassociate from the identification between us and the ego; to understand the ego and help it evolve; and to heal from the traumas and life patterning that have kept us enslaved by the unconscious drives that cause us to hurt ourselves and one another.
Let us dedicate our lives to transforming our bodies, minds and spirits, so that, together, we may feel more whole, more happy and more able to solve our common problems. And let us turn our discouragement into inspiration.
Embracing Reality: Relaxing into the “Not-Knowing”
Part one of a multi-part series on Becoming Not-Knowing
As natural as it is to want to control life, the fantasy that we can create a perfect life only creates stress and pain. Control is not real, so it becomes an unreachable goal. It’s antithetical to reality, which is that life is a process of evolution with constant challenges. And it creates shame, because we think we should conquer life and, if we don’t, there must be something wrong with us.
Our perceived need to dominate life feeds our determination to learn and know everything, because knowledge is power, and we think we can use that power to fix everything and get what we want. And so a major block to relaxing into the process of living is the belief that we already “know” what is and what is supposed to be.
Let’s be honest about a few points:
- We are afraid to sit with the unknown and unknowable, because it feels stressful.
- To relieve that stress, we pretend we know, but are often completely or at least partially misguided. Has that resolved our stress? No. Because we still feel the need to know, know that we don’t, and yet have to pretend to ourselves and others that we do, all the while realizing that our ignorance could cause disastrous mistakes. So actually we have compounded our stress, which we try to alleviate by pretending that we know.
- Plus we frequently think we know how things should be, which creates unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, and then we struggle to make reality fit our preconceptions, which also creates needless stress.
How can we partner with life when we’ve already decided what life should be? How can we be available to a higher consciousness, when we think we already know what is and should be? How can we relax into the process of living, when we’re trying to dominate life itself?
An Introduction to Becoming Not-Knowing
Becoming Not-Knowing is the process of releasing ourselves from the need to know or pretend we do, becoming empty of agendas and limitations, and living moment by moment in the Not-Knowing and the discovery, guided by higher consciousness.
There’s a lot to this, but let’s start with what I mean by higher consciousness. Higher consciousness is the intelligence greater than ours that runs the universe. Some call it inspiration, higher wisdom, God, The Source, divine intelligence, the Great Spirit, a higher power; there are many names that refer to the same reality. Higher consciousness is not a religious concept, although it shows up in many religions; it is an acknowledgement of a level of awareness that is greater than our own.
It comes to us in the silence when our egos are quiet. It is the inner knowing that surprises us with its wisdom. It is that sudden inspiration; it’s what tells us that we left our keys in the dryer, or it pops into our heads as a brilliant solution, when we’ve been puzzled and see no way out.
Becoming not knowing, then, is making ourselves available to higher consciousness by releasing the need to know, releasing agendas and letting go of our identification with our ordinary stream of thoughts. There are several practices that support us in releasing barriers to accessing higher consciousness and to discern if we are accessing higher consciousness or not. We’ll share those in Part 2, our next installment. In the meantime, here are some questions to consider regarding higher consciousness:
- Have you ever experienced inspiration?
- Have you ever experienced an inner voice that seems to know more than you do?
- Have you ever experienced a lightness of being, where you felt different; happy, and calm?
- Have you ever experienced an energy penetrating you or a feeling that you were vibrating or tingling, when there was no physical explanation?
- Are these experiences worth working for?
This post is an excerpt from the book, Living with Reality: A Book of Wisdom, by Beth Green, and is taken from Platform 8, Becoming Not-Knowing.
What are we fighting for?
We have joined our friends at Idearella in a blog collaboration. We all agreed to write a post called “What are we fighting for?” Here’s my contribution.
When you experience conflict, what is your characteristic response? Do you fight or flee?
As early as I can remember, I ran away from conflict in order to “keep the peace.” But did I ever really find peace in that approach? No. When I ran, I ended up feeling weak, which just made things worse. I separated from the other person and then either blustered or quietly seethed, thinking that they wouldn’t notice. But of course they did! It was painful for both of us. Eventually, through lots of inner work with the help of a great counselor and consultant, I learned that this doesn’t work. So I’ve stopped running.
But is fighting any better? In and of itself, it is not the answer any more than running is. What matters is the kind of fight we engage in. Ultimately, there are two kinds of fighting: fighting for our separateness, or fighting for connection. The one we carry out depends upon the energy and intention we bring to whatever situation we are facing in the moment.
Fighting for self-interest: for short-term, me-based goals
Our ordinary way of fighting is all ego; it’s the by-product of seeing ourselves as separate, which plays out as fighting for “my” survival or advantage or that of my family, organization, race, country or any other group with which we identify. In this version of fighting, we fight to be right, while making the “other” wrong; we fight to make ourselves feel big while attempting to make others look small or stupid; we fight to protect ourselves from things we cannot control by using manipulation, coercion, domination and control. Though we have all done this and probably still do it more often than we want to admit, it is never satisfying. It leaves us feeling small, separate and alone. It drives us to prove ourselves and the proof is never enough; it causes us to contort ourselves for others’ acceptance, admiration, or deference. And it destroys others because it drives us to put others down when we don’t feel adequate; to lash out when we feel slighted, instead of seeking to understand; to exploit those weaker than us or dependent on our love or money.
Though we can’t always stop ourselves from reacting and fighting in this way, we can make amends when we do.
And, there is an alternative.
Fighting for wholeness, for connection, for unity
The second kind of fighting starts with the recognition that we are not separate, but that all of life is interconnected. With this insight and intention, when we experience conflict we fight for wholeness, for unity, for connection, for the highest good of all, including us. This is a choice I frequently face in my family – especially with our children, with whom I am most reactive. Do I dominate them with my rules and demands, or do I teach them the power of our oneness and connection?
I have two boys, ages 7 and 4 and they frequently get “into it” with one another. By “into it” I mean fighting in the manner described above: egos flaring, yelling, whining and pushing. In those moments, I want to teach them how to fight for wholeness, for connection. And yet the only way I can do that is by doing it myself. Here’s an example of how it can happen.
One morning recently, as I was getting up, I heard my younger son, Luke, crying. Instantly I could feel myself getting angry, thinking to myself, “What is Aiden doing to him? He is going to be in ‘big trouble!’” I walked into their bedroom, and as I did, I took a deep breath to support me in being as relaxed and neutral as possible. I heard, “Just find out what happened.” So I did. I asked what happened. Aiden said that Luke came up to his bunk and sat on his head (they have bunk beds and Aiden sleeps on top) so he started yelling at him to get off and Luke started crying. Suddenly, I was faced with a teaching moment. I had to pause to discern what was really going on, but it only took a few moments to see the whole, and to intuit what was taking place.
Here’s what came to me: I know that Luke loves Aiden, looks up to him and wants to be with him. But as a four year old, he’s still learning how to express that in a healthy, constructive way. Knowing how to ask for connection and expressing deep emotions can be awkward for a four year old. I told that to Aiden and he understood. I also proposed that together we can teach Luke how to show his love and affection in a healthy way. We can teach Luke to express his desire to connect by saying, for instance, “Aiden, can I give you a hug?” or “Aiden, can I come up into your bed and lay with you?” I also explained to Aiden that if we are mean to Luke in the process of teaching him, it will be harder for him to take in what we’re saying. I clarified this by using myself as an example. When I’m trying to teach Aiden something and I am being impatient or mean instead of being firm, it makes it very difficult for him to take in what I am saying. He agreed and could see that the same thing happens with him and Luke. He reaffirmed his commitment to be firm instead of mean in his interactions with Luke.
In my subsequent conversation with Luke, I told him I wanted to connect with him and asked him to look me in the eyes. In response, he said “I’m not in my eyes!” To which I said, “Yes you are! When we look into one another’s eyes we see into each other’s souls.” Somehow, even though he may not have fully understood the words, I felt that he got it. In the end, the love and connection that all three of us naturally feel for one another was restored, and we all learned a valuable lesson: fighting for connection works. It’s not something we can force on others, but if we acknowledge our fundamental desire to simply connect, we are starting from the right place and are helping to co-create the kind of world we want to live in.
What really excites me about this is if I can find the unity in my family, where I am the most reactive and the most challenged, I can do it anywhere: with co-workers, clients, colleagues, friends — anyone.
Now that’s something worth fighting for!
“Connection and unity are essential to us, because they are essentially who we are. And yet, we’re brought up to see ourselves as separate. We learn to compete, to compare, and to contrast. Leading lives of great separation and conflict is the cause of our deepest fear and pain, which, in turns, leads to so much of our addictive behavior.” — Beth Green, co-founder, Reality for a Change
Creating a thriving organization: co-creation is key
Whether we like it or not, no matter how big or powerful we think we are, none of us has dominion over the universe, and we’d better learn to work with that reality. Co-creation is a powerful tool to help us work with that reality: it’s the wave of the future and the hallmark of a healthy business, organization or society.
What is Co-Creation?
Co-creation is the process of seeing our relationship to one another and to life itself. How do we, differentiated individuals, relate to the collective of which we are a part, whether that collective is the people we work with, those in our family, our country or the world? How do we relate to the forces of the universe, including forces other than people? And how can we support better outcomes, which are for the highest good of all?
Whether intentional or unintentional, co-creation follows the same process, and Becoming Co-Creative is the way we adjust to the realities of that process. Here’s how it works:
We co-create reality with the universe in a subtle dance of intention and allowance. Co-creation is the way the universe operates. Outcomes are the result of the intersection of all intention, including our own. If we consciously choose co-creation, we can overcome our own limitations and experience richer lives and more fulfilling outcomes.
Co-creation is the process of intention and allowance, instead of domination and submission. Easy to say; not so easy to do. First, let’s get a better sense of each element: intention, allowance, and co-creation.
What is Intention?
Intention is the process of focusing our energy on a desired outcome or direction. It is an attempt to impact the universe in such a way as to meet our individual or collective needs for survival, self-expression and wellbeing. Individuals intend, and collectives intend. Everything intends.
What is Allowance?
Allowance is the process of relaxing around reality. It requires us to take a breath and let go of the struggle to impose our will. It facilitates us to examine how the universe has responded to our intention. It leads to new intention. It can lead to the reinforcement of our original intention or to a shift in direction. It leads to our growth. And it always begins with a pause and a willingness to see and hear.
What is Co-Creation?
What occurs in life is the result of the collective intention. Co-creation is the way the universe works. It is the result of the intersection of the intention of all involved. To practice co-creation is to be in harmony with this process. It begins with the acknowledgement that we all have intentions, and that we need to accept that everyone’s intentions will intersect. We intend and allow. Once we are impacted by the response of the universe, we intend and allow again.
Why do I use the word allowance, rather than acceptance? Acceptance can simply mean taking in. For example, I accept your invitation, your love, your donation. Allowance does not necessarily mean that I am taking something in, only that I am allowing that it is. I may not take in your criticism, but I allow it. I may not take in your anger, but I allow it. Allowance contributes to our being in a more neutral place about harmful realities. I cannot fight all the abuse on the planet, I may do my best to help change it, but I must allow it, while it exists. Otherwise I am caught in impotent rage.
How Co-Creation works
Intention, allowance, co-creation. Let’s see how this works. Here’s a simple example. My child is being failed by his teacher, and I think it’s unfair. The teacher won’t listen to me, so I go to the principal. My intention is to get the teacher to pass my child. I talk to the principal. I’m clear and impassioned. But what will be the result? My impact will depend on the intention of the principal. Is the principal willing to listen, or does she already have a fixed perception of my child and the teacher? Is she intending to be open-minded, or is she being impacted by insecurity about her job and an unwillingness to conflict with the staff? Isn’t the outcome also impacted by the totality of my intention? Am I there only to talk and argue my point, because my ego is at stake, or do I want to help my child? If I want to help my child, do I intend to listen in order to discover if there’s something I can learn from the principal? And what of the intention of the child? Does his performance demonstrate an intention to work hard or to slough off? Does my child’s intention bolster my argument with the teacher or undermine it? We can see that the results will depend on the interweaving of the intentions of the child, the principal, and me.
The teacher will factor in as well. If the principal sides with me, she may talk to the teacher. If the teacher’s intention is to be open to whatever is right, the teacher may see my point of view and pass my child, or fail my child but give her more attention. Or, if the teacher feels the need to give in, she may pass my child but be even more resentful or negative toward her. All of the intentions of the rest of us can be blocked or deflected by that of the teacher.
How do I know what will transpire? How do I know what the result of my intention will be? How do I know what will be the result of the intersection of all our intentions? When I connect to any part of the collective, I am exercising my will. I am intending. But I am not determining the outcome. That depends on many other factors. And that’s where allowance comes in.
Co-creation is bringing what I have to the table with whatever intention I have and working with, or allowing, the result, which is dependent on the intention of others. Co-creation teaches me that everything is impacted in the process. When I connect to the collective, my views may change or be reinforced. When I connect to the collective, my direction may be shifted. When I connect to the collective, my goals may be reshaped. When I connect to the collective, it might shift as well.
Learning to Become Co-Creative requires an incredible degree of humility and self-discipline. To keep expressing our intentions, to keep working toward goals and at the same time, to keep learning from others and the universe requires us to understand and accept our connection to the ALL. It requires the humility of being teachable. And it challenges us daily to remember that those who thwart us are “us” as well, because we are an aspect of the collective that defeated “us.”
How Do We Become Co-Creative?
Now that we have briefly described the way people and the universe co-create, how do we become more conscious co-creators with the universe? How do we become more intentional about being co-creative?
- Embrace the experience of intention and allowance.
- Confront our ego’s need for credit and reward.
- Acknowledge that life’s problems are greater than our limited consciousness.
- Realize the value of what others bring.
- Join with others to accomplish that which I cannot achieve myself.
Practicing Becoming Co-Creative brings many gifts. It allows us to look forward to defeats almost as much as victories, because of the lessons we may learn. It allows us to hold on to our faith in the face of adversity. Faith in what? Faith that I may not create my life exactly as I intend, but that with a mature adaptation to life’s curveballs, I can be a student of life until the day I die. I can learn. I can grow. I can evolve.
Practicing Becoming Co-Creative brings us other benefits, as well. It brings us the realization that failure to realize our intention is not a statement of our weakness; it is part of the process of life. It relieves us of the need to prove our power or our rightness, because we aren’t that powerful, and we’re certainly not “right.” It releases our energy, because we’re not constantly butting up against the universe in a futile effort to get our way. It relieves us of the shame of not getting our way and relieves us of the fear of failure. And relieved of that burden, we experience less pain when our hearts’ desires are thwarted.
Sometimes I see the wisdom of the collective, the wisdom of the universe, and I feel at peace about the process of intention and allowance. I realize that by bringing my own views and intentions into play, we as a collective are able to create a fuller and more productive movement of energy. In those moments, I’m glad that I am not the emperor of the universe. Sometimes I do not see the wisdom of the collective, the wisdom of the universe. I believe we are being self-destructive, and I see needless suffering. In those cases, I feel grief. Whichever I feel, however, I know that intention and allowance is how I relate to the universe. I can’t change it, and I’d better make the best of it!
This post is an excerpt from the book, Living with Reality: A Book of Wisdom, by Beth Green, and is taken from Platform 3, Becoming Co-Creative.
Are We a Fit? Take This Short Quiz
Do you want your business consultants to:
- Sell you their product or design programs based on your needs?
- Support the status quo in your business or help you identify your problems and confront them?
- Make good decisions for you or help you strengthen yourself so that you make better decisions yourself?
If you chose the latter option in every case, try Reality for a Change.
If you have the guts for self-honesty and the hunger to reach your potential, try Reality for a Change. We have an effective team offering:
- Extraordinary levels of awareness, shaking up what needs shaking
- Powerful tools and programs that can transform not only you, but your entire team
- Years of experience helping individuals and groups make real and permanent change
- An unflagging dedication to you realizing your potential
An Integrative Business Consulting Firm
Reality for a Change works. Whether you are a small business owner, a corporate executive, an artist, doctor, salesperson or engineer, you are facing the same challenges: the strengths and weaknesses of you and your people; the strengths and weaknesses of their relationships. Working with people and relationships is our specialty. Whether you are stuck in individual habitual reactions and responses or you have unsupportive relationships within your team or with clients or partners, we can help you ferret out what’s getting in your way. Our team offers:
- Individual coaching, counseling and consulting services designed especially for you
- Workshops and seminars tailored to meet the needs of those who attend
- Short-term programs to bring you insight into your weaknesses
- Processes to transform those weaknesses at the core
- Long-term programs and support to empower your continuous growth and transformation
We have a mission. We know that healthy people are more productive and make better decisions, and healthy businesses create value for our world. If we can help you, we are helping everyone. Let us help you fulfill your potential, and we all thrive. Learn about our services.
